Counting my blessings

You know those weeks when getting 'over the hump' of Wednesday seems like a big achievement?  Being able to breathe a sigh of relief as the weekend nears?  This month has felt like the biggest, longest hump I have ever experienced.  We are reaching the point in the field service where many of us have been working non stop for 6 months dealing with the constant challenges of living and working in community and, for me, working out in Freetown.  Emotional exhaustion and fatigue are starting to set in, coupled with being battered by the huge needs of my patients, the never ending problems that cannot be fixed and working with a very frustrating hospital system to try and keep the Burkitts programme running.  All these things came to a head a couple of weeks ago and I began to think that I really couldn't continue on, had no more to give.  I turned to the Lord and poured out my heart.  I asked for his strength as mine had all gone.  I knew that he would not push me beyond what I could handle but I was very much at that limit.

Then he totally stepped in and out of nowhere refreshed me, gave me renewed strength.  I think that this is the first time that I have been put in the position where I have been forced to give in and completely rely on God's strength.  And that is what I know this year is all about.  Yes, I am here to be immersed in a people and a culture that I would never have thought I could be and it is an experience that I will never forget.  But it has also been a time of huge changes in me.  I have learnt that, no matter what I have to trust in God's plan for me.  To keep pushing on despite all the barriers.

Taking advantage of a 3 day weekend, another friend and I headed away for two nights to a peaceful, relaxing hotel on one of the beaches.  Despite the fact that it rained most of the time we were there, I was able to rest and get some focus for the next 3 months.  It is so easy to look to the end of the year and what I will do when I get home but I know that I need to continue on blessing those God has given me to care for.  I am blessed to be here living my life in a way which so many people do not get to experience.  And for that I am so thankful.

Two views from the windows of the hotel that I stayed in at the weekend